Preconception

Infertility Myths; Don't You Believe It!

by Debbi Secaur

Myths surround what is not fully understood, and infertility myths are no different. Dispelling the myths can help both emotionally and mentally. From the myth that infertility is a woman's problem, to the idea that if you just stop trying so hard pregnancy will happen, many myths will be 'busted' and understanding will take their place.

I am sure that many couples that are trying 'everything' to achieve conception have heard from well meaning friends and family the "Relax! Stop trying so hard and you will be pregnant in no time." myth. This myth is just that, a myth. Relaxing will not suddenly correct infertility. The infertile couple faces many things, treatment options, continuous exams and tests, and stress. Relaxing may reduce the stress, and improve the couple's quality of life, but stopping all the treatments, exams and tests will not increase the chances of pregnancy.

I certainly hope that no one has heard the "Maybe this is God's way of telling you that you were not meant to be parents" statement. As painful as it is hear such a thing, all infertile couples need to know that infertility is not a punishment for your past, or a sentence of your future. Infertility is a medical condition, and in most cases is fully treatable. Don't fall for the God myth; no one is punishing you for anything or any reason.

Now, what about the myth that is created in your own mind? You know, the one that says to you "You are alone in this, no one else could ever understand because no one else has ever gone through this." Maybe you will be happy to know that you are not alone in this journey? Just do a web search for 'infertility support group' and you will get back more 'hits' than you can shake a stick at. By joining a support group either online or in the 'real' world, you can learn that there are others that are dealing with the same issues you are. Please don't believe that you are alone, there are others, there is me.

Here is another myth that really needs to be 'busted'. "Infertility is only a worry for older women." Unfortunately this just is not true, fertility begins to decline in the late 20's and significantly declines after age 35. In my book, as I get older, 35 still seems pretty young to me. Although age can be a factor in infertility, I have known 18 year olds that needed treatment just as much at 38 year olds did. Infertility can happen at any age.

There are many that believe in the myth that "Infertility is a woman's problem." As scary as it may be for men, in about 35% of infertility cases, the problem lies with the man. In another 35% of the cases the problem is with the woman, and in about 20% of cases, there is both a male and female problem. About 10% of infertility cases are due to unexplained infertility, which basically means that there seems to be no 'medical' reason for the infertility.

I don't know how this one got started, but the idea that if you "Just adopt, you will get pregnant for sure." has been around for quite a while. Unfortunately, this just is not true at all. The pregnancy achievement rate for those that adopt verses those that do not is the same. If an infertile couple decides to adopt and they later find that they are pregnant, it should be seen as nothing more than a happy coincidence.

Let's not forget the myth that "Infertility treatment and drugs will cause a multiple birth." Although there is an increased risk of getting pregnant with twins or triplets, the incidence of greater multiples is very low. It never fails to make the news when a woman gives birth to quints or higher. This just compounds the myth and does little to assure those with infertility that this is a very rare occurrence. The best thing to do is to talk to your doctor, or do the research yourself, on the risk of multiple births with the different drugs and treatment options available to you.

And what about the most recent myth coming straight from Taiwan? It seems that a couple dealing with unexplained infertility were taken to a restaurant by a friend where, on the menu, was mouse testicles. The couple reportedly ordered 6 kilograms of the tiny organs and began eating them with every meal. At the end of the month, the woman was confirmed to be pregnant. Another four couples dealing with infertility, the nature of which was not reported, have also conceived after eating mouse testicles. This reminds me of those "have sex standing up in a closet during a full moon" myths. I suggest to all that you stick with the treatment options that have been shown to work, and let the poor mice alone.

Author Profile

Resource BoxDebbi Secaur has been researching, advising and studying infertility causes and treatments, for over 5 years now. She is the owner of two groups located on Yahoo that offer support and information to women and couples that are trying to conceive. She has developed and maintained TTC Dreams, a website for the groups since 1999, and continues to expand her knowledge and understanding of infertility. Debbi Secaur has also developed the following free Internet courses 1. Introduction to Infertility 2. Creating an Online Support Group 3. Birth Control: Your Options!
Originally published at Suite101.com.