Topic: Parenting 6/09/08
Q. I wanted to go back to work and to find a bottle for my baby. I have been breastfeeding her.

A. Good for you for thinking ahead of time about what you'll need to go back to work!  Assuming that you have been nursing your baby, you'll need to slowly start introducing the bottle.  Some babies don't like the taste or feel of the silicone nipples so this might take a little longer than expected - every baby is different.  Start with one of the feedings during the day, but not the one right before naptime.  Try and be consisent and be patient.  Another tip might be to have someone else give the bottle at first until your baby is used to it - when she sees you, she's definitely going to prefer to nurse!  Once she has taken to the bottle, build up to more feedings during the time you will be at work.  That way, when the time comes, it will be one less change to deal with...for both you and her!  As far as the type of bottle, there are a million to choose from.  Each one will advirtise different advantages.  Ask your pediatrician, but really it's just a personal preference.  Good luck!

Topic: Parenting 4/21/08
Q. My husband and I have different parenting styles. I choose to let my daughter explore as much as possible but I let her know what is acceptable and what is not even if I tell her 100x a day. He feels if I told her once and she keeps it up just let it go and pick my battles. I think its good for me to say no because when she is with someone else she will know its wrong.  He is more of the I'm nearby so if something happens I'll get there in time. Who is right she is 16months old and really active.

A. You asked a really great question!  My response to you is that you are both right - it is important to let your daughter explore and allow her to really get a chance to experience her world around her.  However, there are definitely some things that are not up for discussion such as touching electrical sockets or kicking the dog, for example.  Repetition is key in these areas and you're right, you might need to say it a hundred times a day, but keep saying them.  Your husband is right in that you need to pick your battles as well.  If all your daughter hears is no, it will become meaningless to her and won't make an impact when it really is important.  At this age, the best method is redirection.  Telling her not to touch the antique bowl sitting on the coffee table isn't worth it.  Kids at this age have an internal drive to "discover" and this will override Mom saying no every time.  It's best just to remove the bowl until she is older and can really understand the word no.  For now, just turn your daughter around and point her in another direction towards other interesting objects.  Good luck!

Topic: Learning 1/9/07
Q. My daughter will be two January 13 this month.  I received a note from her teacher on a coloring page that she was able to name the color blue after color with a blue crayon, but had difficulty distinguishing colors.  I found the comment amusing, yet also disturbing.  How should I address this situation with her daycare?  Also, what should my daughter be learning in school at this age?

A. I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter distinguishing colors at this point.  She might have learned the word "blue" and be using it for all colors just like calling all four-legged animals a "dog."  As far as what she should be learning, the most important thing for children this age is general play.  If your daughter seems receptive, you can mention colors at home to reinforce them, ie. the red ball, the purple dinosaur etc - just in conversation, not with flashcards.  Regarding her teacher, unless you feel the the children are being forced to learn things as opposed to just being in a caring and safe environment where they can explore their world, I would just let this one go.  Trust your instinct, you know what's best for your child.

Topic: Medication 1/8/07
Q. I have an 11-month old son who was born with a condition that requires daily oral medication and will soon require daily injections as well. The medicine must make him ill because he begun to reject it. How can we administer this medicine and then give him the shots without him disliking his parents. He is too young to understand that we have to do this. But old enough to know that he doesn't like it. Any advice?

A. First, let me say that this must kill you to have to give your son something that you know he hates - you've got to have a lot of strength as a parent!  Whether he's beginning to reject it because of how it makes him feel or if he's starting to just say "no," the medicine obviously has to be part of his daily routine.   It should the same way at the same time and with a very matter of fact response from you.  You can say that the medicine is coming from the doctor and not from you.  Definetely give him lots of cuddles after he takes it.  Don't be tempted to reward him with something for taking the medicine, though.  This might work short-term but eventually the prizes will loose their appeal and then you're really stuck.  You could also try giving it to him when he's distracted, let's say, while watching TV.  There are many children who need medicine/shots each day due to medical conditions - eventually he will know that they are part of his life.  Though you will go through stages, he'll know that it's just something he needs to do.  

Topic: Pacifier vs. Thumb 10/14/06
Q. Pacifier or the thumb.  What's my best option?

A. I think that everyone who you ask will give a different answer.  Obviously, each have their pros and cons, but keep in mind that ultimately, it will be your child who decides--some refuse the plastic of the pacifier and others never quite get the hang of the thumb.  The pacifier is easier to get rid of since you can't throw a thumb in the garbage, but the “binky” is easily lost and very difficult to retrieve off the back seat when your driving.  Both may or may not lead to braces or speech problems depending on how often they're in the child's mouth. Some argue that pacifier use interferes with breastfeeding.  Some research is now suggesting that a pacifier for the first 6 months reduces the risk of SID.  It's really up to you and your child as to the best choice. The Internet has a lot of sources which give both the pros and cons.

Topic: Nursing 10/14/06
Q. I have a 5 month old who won't fall asleep unless I'm nursing him.  Then, when I put him down, he suddenly wakes up crying.  What can I do differently?

A. It might sound silly, but babies need to be taught how to fall asleep on their own.  Even though you probably didn't mean to, it sounds like your son was taught to fall asleep while nursing!  Babies actually go through a few stages when they are about to fall asleep - they quiet down and stop moving as much, they stare off into space almost like they're in a trance and then start to blink slowly, and finally close their eyes and drift off.  The book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer maps this out beautifully.  When you can start noticing your baby going through these stages, nurse him first if he's hungry, but then place him awake in his crib in a darkened room and do whatever soothes him, rubbing his back, the mobile, etc.  It will take some time to transition, but soon he will learn, with your help, to fall asleep on his own.

Topic: Parenting Two Children 10/13/06
Q. I have a very busy two year old and a newborn.  How can I give my baby the attention she needs and deserves when my toddler won't give me a moment's peace because he's so active?

A. It's definitely a different ball game with two little ones vying for your attention!  You're right that your newborn needs some one-on-one time just like your older one got.  Obviously, if your toddler stills naps, that would be a perfect time for the two of you, even though you might be tempted to finish the laundry or clean-up the kitchen.  If you have a willing relative or neighbor, they could offer to entertain your 2-year-old by playing a game with him or taking him for a walk.  Babies love attention in general, so don't forget that there are many ways in interact with your newborn and your toddler at the same time.  Plus, it's a great way to forge that brother/sister bond from the beginning.  Just remember that this is a transition for everyone, and it's going to be a little while before your life seems to flow smoothly again.  Don't try and be Supermom - the number of children may have doubled, but the amount of things to do has quadruped!

Topic: Spanking 10/12/06
Q. There is a lot of controversy about spanking lately.  It's what our parents did, but is it the right way to handle things today?

A. You're right that there is a lot of controversy.  I'm not going to say whether it is right or wrong, because what I believe is not necessarily what you believe and think is right.  Let me start by asking what do you want to teach your child by spanking?  Children learn by mimicking those around them.  Therefore, would you be surprised if your child hits another child, let's say, if that other child did something wrong?  How do you explain why Mommy and Daddy can hit but they can't.  What if spanking doesn't work?  Do you spank harder?  A 2-yea- old will have trouble putting a connection between a behavior and a spanking.  All they know is that Mom or Dad hit them.  You want your children to feel secure and comfortable so that they will be able to approach you later on with anything that they need to share.   This becomes difficult if they are worried that a spanking will be soon to follow.  Instead, it's better to find out what caused the inappropriate behavior and use it as a learning opportunity to teach your child.  Toddlers need constant repetition - so keep in mind that patience is key!